Paralyzed, I lay there staring up at the ceiling. The nagging feeling of what must be accomplished today pulling for attention at my brain, but I’m busy trying to pay no mind to it. The big twenty-seven. Friday was my birthday and as I’m looking blankly at the corner of the room for some sort of answers to hit me….nothing does. What am I doing with myself? Where am I going? What’s my calling? These questions have been persistent throughout my 20’s and I always tell myself I’m alone in thinking of these questions over and over but then I remind myself there are literally billions of people out there…. tons of millennials. I’m definitely not the only one that goes through a quarter life crisis more than bi-annually over the past 5 years, am I?
I need some deep personal soul searching. I’m blessed in that I know what I want out of life. I know what my passion is, and that’s the first dilemma I was lucky to figure out in my early twenties by accident. I’m hoping my late twenties blesses me with stumbling upon how to achieve it. I know what I need, but can’t figure out how to do it. I need travel. I need a creative outlet. I need something to push me towards more. This day to day monotonous life is more than enough for some people, but I need something else. I need that ledge, that fear, the uncertainty of the unknown, the challenge.
The thought that the big Three-Oh is inching near makes me fear I’m going nowhere in life. What have I achieved? Where is this going? How do I regain control of my life as it’s slipping through my fingers. Does anyone understand this feeling or is it just me?
My life goal is figuring out the world and where I fit into it. How can I leave a positive impact in this world and also lead a career path that I’m able to come home each night and feel fulfilled. One day, I will be at peace with this…hopefully. On the plus side, I have options. I have a world of possibilities and most of the issues arise from making up my mind as to what I want to pursue.
Until next time, thanks for putting up with one of my quarter life crisis. Be forewarned, these easily happen bi-annually so it won’t be the last 🙂